This part was a dream:
Had to convince a lady at my school that I would do great there. At a banquet, I stayed late to help clean up, left alone.
Then I heard some running in a shower.
A random full bathroom placed in the middle of the banquet room.
It was steamy and dark in there.
I walked over to turn the shower water off.
Heard through the bathroom mirror, a man preaching.
About how it is meant to be,
To endure.
I didn't think much of it when I stepped back from turning the water off.
Just then, a spirit, seemed dark.
The color of a dark cloud,
Enveloped upon me.
I felt death, for a moment, I was blind, maybe deaf.
Felt lost and left alone.
But all the while I hear the man preaching and then he says,
"Do you think that I'm just in the screen?!
The voice gets closer, as though, he's with me.
Then all of the sudden I felt fine.
He quickly starts to sing.
Such an amazing beautiful voice.
He sings Promises by Maverick City Music.
Then I start to sing along.
Now, we are singing in a place together with many others.
It felt like a celebration and I start to realize that maybe,
It's Jesus here with me singing, and leading me.
He was like a brother and a mentor.
And while I hear him sing, I feel strengthened.
This part was real life:
The night of that dream, before going to bed,
There were five gunshots heard, and moments later,
Ambulance, police probably and a helicopter, I heard out there.
Following that, my youngest son, who was resting on the couch, fell off,
hitting his head while enduring a seizure for maybe
the tenth time that hour.
My oldest son came out of his room, crying because he heard it,
afraid to be left alone.
I started to feel that fright moments later.
I noticed the feeling and apologized to
Father because, there is no fear when God is near.
I shed the feeling and went to bed.
While reading about the passover in Exodus,
I had been wondering what purpose does enduring death do for a saint?
Like passover, when it is necessary to sacrifice a lamb to avoid the
wrath of death.
Why does consuming death seem to be necessary?
Is yeast considered a living organism?
A procreate?
Is passover still prevalent in today's age?
I've been trying to puzzle those things together.
I remember walking out of the house one morning,
Walking towards the car,
In that moment though,
Death walked pass by
A kind neighbor brought something, carrying along a thing.
So I told it "No."
While I said this, strength,
But more than that I heard a voice greater than my own,
Saying it with me.
The thing that walked by, went away.
I hear God tell me,
Here's that feeling you've been running away from.
You are choosing to lead like Jesus.
He endured (endures) the pain of the world and kept (keeps) going.
To lead like him, you are to endure the pain of others and keep going.
When God is with me,
when Jesus is with me,
when the Holy Spirit is with me,
It is a lesson, and not a traumatizing experience.
Because I am now compelled to endure and keep going to
fulfill his purpose for me.
News reported that Zap Zone, behind the city mall was shot through.
A three year old girl was at the will.
She survived although shot in the stomach.
She was rushed to paramedics and surgery removed the bullet,
projecting a full recovery.
The trauma of this girl's event was the night
of five gunshots we heard outside our home,
down the street of the main road that leads to
the city mall in front of Zap Zone.
Death tried and went away.
The muscle in here.
The stomach area,
This is made strong through endurance.
It's the same muscle that I use to sing properly.
To breathe.
The stamina of this was very obviously strength,
in the man who sang with me.
In my dream.
This journal was noted October 28, 2020.